On Men and Women

Mankind’s first conflicts must have been about water, food and women. Through the ages men have waged wars, created mayhem and done stupid things for women as mates, concubines, slaves and bearers of sons. Men are driven by hormones that override their common sense at certain times in their life cycles. It might be likened to a battery that is trickle charged until it must be discharged or it will burn out or explode. 

Men and women make a bargain when they marry. Traditionally men provided for the woman in general terms and the woman looked after the man in many ways including discharging the battery.

In recent years there have been stories of many powerful men who have been discovered discharging their batteries away from the marital couch. (For a partial list go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_state_and_local_political_sex_scandals_in_the_United_States)

The most recent story is of a guy named Anthony Weiner. He was found to be looking for women on the Internet in weird ways. Why would a man do it? Heather Mallick writes an often entertaining and insightful column in the Toronto Star. In a recent column she wrote in part; " I don’t do a Weiner. Women don’t. Why? Because we don’t have to. Sex is available to us. We just stand around being ourselves. It’s not like that for guys.

It’s difficult to be a grown man and indeed, many women argue that it’s beyond them. Why, men, why?

        The answer is that, generally speaking, if men want to meet an attractive woman, they will have to make the first move. Rejection is intensely painful."

Women are the gatekeepers even for their husbands with the exception of abusive marriages. She can have sex if and when she wants. Single or attached women can go to a bar and with little trouble go home with some guy even if he isn't the man of her dreams. Funny thing about Mr. Weiner; he is newly married to a beautiful woman who is in the first trimester of pregnancy. She must be doing her duty but in general a woman or wife who wants to keep her man must make him happy at home. He may not be romantic but he won't wander. Many wives, busy with children, forget to look after their men and the men, struggling with their career, forget to engage in the foreplay women need to be aroused for sex. Many times the man will meet an attractive woman and begin to fantasize the loving he isn’t getting at home.  

            If a powerful man, like Arnold Schwarzenegger, Eliot Spitzer, DSK from France, and others in business and the professions, starts to wander many women will make themselves available to him. He begins to think he can do anything and some get into serious trouble and expensive divorces when reality strikes. Simpler men do the same thing but with less publicity.

            We can’t blame it all on the women but why is it so common in our society? Other societies have solved the problem with polygamy and a more liberal perspective on mistresses. Why is prostitution the oldest ‘profession’ practiced in all societies if it isn’t to help men, married men, relieve their tensions? Of course mature women have needs too and some are known in bars as cougars.

            Many divorces occur after twenty five years of marriage when the kids are grown and excitement in the master bedroom has become routine and probably disappeared completely. What’s the answer? Religion? Islam allows a man four wives. He can even marry a woman for an hour and divorce her immediately after. That doesn’t seem like the answer for men in the west. Our women have achieved a degree of what they call ‘liberation’ but they are more frequently practising male domination.  Wives must become more flexible as the sexual energy of their husbands wains but his desire remains strong. Wives or partners can help their men in many ways both emotionally and physically using a little imagination. It doesn’t bite and there might be reciprocal delights for her too. Try it, age is not a factor.

            Unfortunately it won’t happen and men will continue to stupidly do whatever is needed to discharge their batteries. Sad but true.

             Do you have an opinion or suggestion? Don’t be shy. Use the comment box and tell us.